Childless Mother

THE BOOK: Childless Mother: A Search for Son and Self

PUBLISHED IN: 2024

THE AUTHOR: Tracy Mayo

THE PUBLISHER: Pegasus Elliot Mackenzie Publishers Ltd./Vanguard Press

SUMMARY: 1970, pre-Choice America. After their eighth move in her thirteen short years, the lonely only child of a high-ranking naval officer and a socially ambitious mother, Tracy Mayo longed for a normal adolescence – to have lasting friends, to feel rooted. What she got was a pregnancy at fourteen and exile to a “home for unwed mothers.” There, she bore not only a child but also the weight of the culture’s shame. She was required to surrender her baby boy at birth and pretend it never happened. Twenty-two years later, her longing undiminished, Tracy set out to find him – and perhaps, through her search, to reclaim her self. Are we moving back to a world where women have no agency, stripped of control of their bodies and their futures? More than fifty years after one frightened, grief-stricken young mother was ordered to forget, Tracy’s story is even more important to remember.

THE BACK STORY: After I found my son (which was quite difficult and addressed in the book) I knew I wanted to share my journey of discovery and self-discovery. However, I waited until retiring from a demanding career. It took me seven years and many classes in the craft of creative writing.

Why this title? For twenty-three years I was a mother without my child, but I was a mother, nonetheless. They said it would be best if I could forget, which only made me more determined to remember.

WHY WOULD SOMEONE WANT TO READ THIS? It’s a compelling story of breaking ranks with the institutionalized secrecy, shame, and silencing that shattered countless pregnant girls and young women prior to legalized abortion and open adoption. And a story of the devasting consequences of family secrets. Anyone affected by adoption – adoptees, birthparents, adoptive parents, children of sperm donors – can feel a connection to these issues.

REVIEW COMMENTS:

“Childless Mother is just a fantastic read with beautiful writing from Tracy Mayo.” – READER’S FAVORITE

“ A compelling remembrance that skillfully explores the cost of family secrets.” – KIRKUS REVIEWS

“A beautiful book that will resound for anyone with a complex family, meaning everyone.” – HEATHER HARPHAM

“I’ve devoured 11 books already in 2024, and let me tell you, Childless Mother takes the crown as the most incredible book I’ve laid my hands on.” – LAVENDER BLISS ONLINE

AUTHOR PROFILE: In 2014 Tracy moved to Boulder, Colorado with her husband, Frank, and their Flat-Coated Retriever, Hazel. She retired from a 30-year career in commercial construction management, as a trailblazing woman in a man’s world. She was active in the adoption reform movement during that time. When she’s not attending to Hazel’s every whim, she can be found at one of her many volunteer gardening projects, or feeding her bountiful backyard birds. http://www.tracymayo.com

AUTHOR COMMENT: In 1970 I was forced to give birth, forced to relinquish, ordered to forget. Treated as a child without agency, I had no more control over my destiny than did my infant son. More than 50 years later, post-Dobbs decision, my story is sadly relevant and timely. We are moving backward to an era in which women’s rights are conditional, like a child’s.

SAMPLE:

Our eyes reflected the river. Our shoes carried the memories of hundreds of girls who had gone before. We carried the humid air, the gray-white clouds, and the fetid smell of the tidal marsh. The sandy loam of the river edge clung to our soles. We bore the taunts of the Old Dominion University crew boys out practicing in their sculls.

As we walked, rote, one foot in front of the other, we dreamed of changing our minds; we dreamed of our boyfriends changing their minds; we dreamed of our parents changing their minds. We wondered if we should hold our newborn, or not, or name him or her – or not. The social workers were evenly divided on these subjects. Not that the naming really mattered, of course, because each original birth certificate was filed away – “sealed” – and replaced with an “amended” one. The name Tracy Lee Mayo would disappear, the adoptive parents’ names would be substituted, and David Andrew would never know he was supposed to be Thomas Neal.

We carried our babies and our babies’ futures, but we were unable to affect the outcomes. We brought all the emotional weight of mothers-to-be who would never be allowed to mother. We bore the un-weighed but considerable shame of the culture; and therefore, we carried out our parents’ plans.

Again and again, we would walk at the appointed time.

WHERE TO BUY IT:

Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Bookshop.

CONTACT THE AUTHOR:

Please see http://www.tracymayo.com.